I’m a physician. Naturally, I want to heal those aches and pains. But let me clarify, that doesn’t mean I want to bury the pain so that you don’t feel it. It doesn’t mean I want to rush you out the door with a quick solution that doesn’t get to the bottom of WHY you are experiencing aches and pains. Pills, patches, cutting or stimulating nerves are not what I am talking about.
Anybody who has experienced any ache or pain, understands that there are different kinds of discomfort and even more reasons for the aches and pains. Whether it’s a paper cut, a fall off the jungle gym, an unexpected fall due to uneven ground, being wounded by another intentionally or in an accident, having a disease that causes painful lesions, or a surgery for treatment, experiencing a breakup or loss of a loved one, or experiencing painful emotions elicited by social media or the news, pain is meant to stop someone in their tracks and to notice it. In other words, it’s meant to be a massive distraction.
Patients often tell me that they have a high or low pain tolerance. Some people describe pain with suffering and some describe pain as a matter of fact “thing” in their life. For many, emotional or spiritual pain is more “painful” than the physical pain of a wound or disease process. As a physician, my purpose is to help you heal, and that always begins with understanding.
First, know that pain is a signal that something is “off” and that you need to shift some focus and energy to whatever it is that’s “off.” Your body is screaming for attention and pain is intended to immediately get your attention and to get you to respond to reduce pain, presumably to protect you. Pain is necessary. People who don’t feel pain, are at risk of dangerous infections, unnecessary wounds and even otherwise preventable death.
Pain has a physiological part and a mental part. It’s how the mental part understands and frames the pain that it can lead to suffering, or it can “numb” the pain or make it more “bearable.” Some people can use self-hypnosis to not feel pain. Others are told their wounds have healed or they may be missing a limb, but they still feel pain. What’s that about?
I don’t have the answers, but I do remember a time when I was a small child feeling awful with a high fever, headache and aching all over. I was scared, felt like there was something terribly wrong, that it would be forever. While I was suffering, my dad talked to me while caressing my forehead. He calmly explained that my body was raising the temperature to kill of the bad bugs that were making me sick. He appealed to my logic that this passes faster if I rest, drink fluids and let my body fight the infection. He reframed my entire experience and reassured me that my body was working so well, and he used the Japanese word, “gaman.” This word means patience and in this case, in a “suck it up” sort of way.
That mental reframing and confidence that my body was doing what it was supposed to do, that it was working to protect me and getting stronger, removed the suffering so I could sit in the aches and pains and practice gaman (patience). I recovered and learned how amazing the human body truly is. I learned I can practice gaman and I felt more competent and more courageous in taking on the next challenge as I was on the journey to learning how to trust my body to take care of me.
I don’t have the answers about how to deal with aches and pains and I may not be able to eliminate all suffering. I do believe the human body is designed to heal, repair and thrive and aches and pains are the body’s way of signaling to us. I don’t believe we need to suffer as much as we do. I do believe that we can build practices like gaman and use reframing to reduce the unnecessarily high level of suffering that often accompanies aches and pains and even disappointments. Working with my patients and those who seek my help, I get to watch this confidence and freedom that emerges as these skills and the practice gets established. If more of us can learn these skills and pass them on to our children and grandchildren, we may reduce suffering and allow more space for peace and joy.
Health Booster 